Marriage is Hard Work But Divorce is Harder
Divorce is a common occurrence in today’s society with as many as 50% of marriages resulting in divorce. Some speculate than one third of children are from families divided by divorce. Statistics for second or third time marriages are even more dismal. We all like to think that marriage is a holy institution that will last forever or, at least “until death do us part,” especially when it comes to our own marriages. However, wishing for this to be true and working to make this true are separate things and only one has any hope of achieving results.
We have all heard that marriage takes a lot of work. It’s a clich that’s been around for ages. Yet so many couples seem to jump into marriage and worry about the rest later. Sure, there are couples to whom a long-lasting relationship seems to come easy, but they are the exception to the rule. Couples need to realize and admit that it is difficult to make a marriage work sometimes and the only way to keep it going is to work at it.
To work effectively on a marriage, we first need to know where to focus our efforts. This may mean first spending some time reflecting on your life and your marriage to determine what the root of the problem is, rather than focusing on a string of little grievances that are easy to identify but not the true source of your unhappiness. Two of the most common problems in marriages are a lack of communication and a lack of romance, but it’s important to dig deeper to find the source of those problems and begin working on them before they become insurmountable.
It can be hard to do, but talking to your spouse about how you feel is essential in in order to resolve the problems effectively. If you can’t figure out how to open the channels of communication with your spouse, professional services can help. Counseling usually works best when both partners are present, but if your spouse is resistant to going or you feel more comfortable going by yourself, a professional can still help you learn how to express yourself better to your spouse.
There are also countless books on the market to help boost communication. This step focuses on expressing your feelings, not dealing with them just yet. When you and your partner understand each other and acknowledge the gravity of the situation, you can begin to work together.
Finally, solve the problems. Some issues are definitely easier to tackle than others while some problems may take a great deal of time and effort. Communication may prove a tougher barrier to break than creating more time for romance and intimacy.
Stubborn habits may be difficult to overcome and a help from a professional may be invaluable to creating healthier habits. It is this point where commitment and effort are necessary. We may have to face our fears, faults and weaknesses as well as show our vulnerability – all of which can be trying and uncomfortable. However, dedication can be rewarding to the end.
Tagged with: family • Marriage • relationships
Filed under: Marriage
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